Healthy Body, Healthy Relationship

I admit it. I am one of those freaks of nature that thrive on exercise. Hate me now. Cycling, ball sport, swimming, I enjoy all of it - the feeling of pushing my body to the max. But it doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with motivation from time to time. There are mornings that getting out of bed to hit the bike or tie up my runners is about as appealing as walking home in the rain because you have run out of petrol. There is no hour less that offers less motivation than 4 AM.

In a rude awakening to what was part of my New Years resolution I found myself facing this hour in a sleep-deprived haze a couple of weekends back.  The moment when the reality of taking on an enormous task hits you is never pleasant. That feeling of dread that slowly rises up from your stomach and threatens to disable every bone of ambition in your body. I had entered my first individual triathlon in two and a half years - Race Four of the QLD Gatorade Triathlon Series.

As I assembled to dive into the 750m swim the challenge could not have seemed bigger. Maybe they measured the distance wrong? Maybe that was the course for a different race? It was a distance that at my last race would not have fazed me but 2-½ years worth of birthdays and very little swim training made the course appear to grow by the minute. Right now it was just about getting through it.

As anticipated getting out at the other end was not pretty. It was about to get worse. Cramp in the early stages of the bike leg had me rolling round on the grass like a migrating salmon. A pain I had never experienced before. Quitting was looking like a great option; after all I was never going to ride fast now. Something told me to keep going though and by the time I made it to the run leg, the world was looking a bit brighter. I managed to pull off an encouraging fourth, not blisteringly quick but a solid point to work up from.

The truth is what made me stick it out that day was that I had someone there cheering me on. Someone who was equally as uninspired to leave our bed at 4AM and whom stood in the rain for four hours just to support me. For Jess, exercise isn’t a matter of ‘just doing it’. Exercise is tough and cramp is nothing compared to her daily battles. For me, toughing out a training session or facing a tough swim gives me just a tiny insight into the challenges she faces and the determination required just to get through.

Maintaining an active lifestyle is a big part of our relationship. We use it to spend time together, stay healthy (so we have more time together) and to enjoy time apart. It’s about challenging ourselves mentally and physically and building on the skills this brings in our lives. Exercise encourages us to enjoy the here and now as well as setting goals for the future together and individually. For me it is important to get out to ride and run ridiculous distances at unreasonable times of the day, as it is a great outlet and the social aspect really keeps me level and in a real headspace. For Jess staying active is literally about staying alive. Exercise for her, acts as physio for the lungs clearing and strengthening what healthy tissue she has left.

Being active doesn’t have to be all serious though! Finding ways to be active together has brought a whole new set of cards to the ‘bonding-time’ table. For example there was the time Jess tried to teach me to snowboard. Lets just say Jess’ teaching skills offer a somewhat unique approach. Night skiing, icy snow, black run. Enough said, but it was of course a great test for our relationship and practice at well, ‘overcoming’ life’s ob-STACK-les. In fairness I should also share the time I enrolled Jess in a joint surf lesson as a date. For some reason Jess’ recollection of this is a little awkward which most likely has something to do with the fact that the story ended in a fin to Jess’ errrrr crutch area, fairly substantial instant bruising, a bit of blood and us making a short, sharp exit as Jess tried to give the free-loving 60-year old yoga/surf instructor a vague explanation of what had gone wrong. Again a great story and bonding experience of sorts. We have in our endeavors also tried our skills at tennis, kayaking, bush walking, horse riding, rock climbing, fishing (some will argue this is indeed a sport) and a few other activities most of which have their own tales to tell and all of which have enriched our relationship in some way.

Exercise really does keep our relationship healthy. Although it provides us each very different challenges, it is all about joint goals, clear heads, new skills and a shared passion. Maintaining fitness is rarely easy but that can be part of the attraction and ultimately satisfaction! Who would have thought that two of our country’s biggest social problems – family breakdown and obesity could both benefit from a little of one thing – fitness! A trip to the gym and a coffee and a chat after are nearly as sexy as date night. While Jess and my reasons might be a little more apparent than most peoples, the ‘Why’s’ of exercise shouldn’t really be as much of a brainteaser as society makes them out to be. Sometimes we all have to do tough things – it just takes a bit of patience, persistence and self-belief and what better motivation than a healthy relationship as a reward – inside and out!


- Cam